I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
