But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
