Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
