I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have aggressive nipples.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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