You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
