Yo dont text me then not text me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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