Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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