Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
