One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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