OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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