Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
