i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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