she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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