Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
