He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
