I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
