Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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