i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
