I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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