what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
