please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The feeling are messing with the penis
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize