ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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