Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
