i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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