Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
