Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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