is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
