Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
