My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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