FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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