i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
