i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
