vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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