dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
