i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize