doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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