Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
