You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
