and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
