Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
