Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
