i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
