I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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