My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
