...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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