Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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