so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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