kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
