Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
