My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
