I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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