our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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