1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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