ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
