Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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