Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
