Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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