East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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