Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
