pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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