You're so nebulous sometimes
thus making me awesome and them whores
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Drunk is not a location!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
