I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
