the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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